Second Chance
by Silver-Guardian of Ancients
Summary: Anyone anything you want thoughts of another person, rambling WARNINGS: suicidal themes, can be taken in a sad direction or happy it will depend on your mood


Second Chance

By Silver

3/5/09

I don't think we understand each other

As much as you do

But soon whether or not we do

It won't matter

We don't talk like we used to

That's mainly my fault

But still, I have a bad feeling about this

This isn't going to end as well as I hope

It's getting worse, this pulling and tugging at my soul

Beckoning me to pad to its side

Breath so cold and skin like ice

Dressed in black and holding a scythe

What have I become?

I was no longer the person I once knew

Am I dead? Did I go through with it?

Why can't I remember?

What happened to you? Are you okay?

Or have I slain you?

Took out that light, snuffed out your candle

What have I done?

I shouldn't have ever told you and waited

Cause I know this second chance I'm given

Is going to be a waste

Maybe I should repent and try to have my sins forgiven

Clean with blade covered in blood, stained red

No water or soap will ever clean it

Though dearest maybe if I went back in time

Die before your eyes instead of alone

But maybe the way I passed on was alright

Cold and alone, like it should be

I'm not sure what to feel anymore

Betrayed, hurt, scared, alone, happy, glad, at peace, what?

Nothing would be best, commit this act, this sin

Before you can try to stop me this second time

But don't act like you cared

I'm nothing more than a friend to you

Which for all I have told you, I shouldn't be

You should hate me and no longer trust me

But you don't, so I took that next step

I left you a message, just to keep my mind clear

I kinda regret leaving you be though

I would've loved to keep talking with you

Carefree with everything, reading your stories

It was fun, it really was… but I think now…

This choice, this mistake I'm going to make

Is for the best…

I wished I asked you more questions

But that would only worsen the effect

On you of me leaving

I'm not sure if I should just give it one more try

But don't give up on love

Cause I know you've been struggling with that

But I realized it's worth it, ya know?

Sadly, love wouldn't keep me alive much longer

I wonder what it's like to pass on fully

And not end up as Death itself

Will I go to heaven or hell?

I hope that my soul is still pure enough

To go to that sweet place called heaven

But it may be damned to that fiery hole

For I have sinned against God and now you

Hell might be better for me to go to

My beloved angel if you only knew

How much I love you

And want to be with you

But I know who you love

And who you want to be with

And I know it's not me

But that part doesn't matter

Just to be able to talk to you

Was rewarding enough

So we are back here at the night

That I'm going to repeat that same mistake

Each and every word I tell you is truth

And again I hear those hateful words

The ones that weren't really for me

But I still get that you could careless

If I was alive or dead

And again I will feel that painful stab to my heart

Those soul shattering words

These feelings are breaking me apart

And I told you before my reasons for hanging on

You just didn't realize you were the last one

The only one left to break me

Make me nothing but broken glass

But your words did more damage then I tried to let on

I think you saw through it though

And then my angel you were unsure

Your reaction let me know how you truly felt

And I'm still not sure if you were trying

To apologize or ignore me

But it kind of doesn't matter

You….we both lied to each other

And now I'll continue to commit this blessing

That turned into a sour curse

So maybe I cannot ask for your forgiveness

But just understand that I blame nothing on you

And everything on me for being so foolish

To think you'd return my feelings

Was blind indeed

Here goes my second chance

I'll wave at you and protect you from afar

I will…it's stupid right now

Even though I'm bleeding to death

Maybe not in a literal sense but still

Broken and dying, wow it sounds cliché

Good-bye my dearest


End file.
